The Root of Happiness is To Know How to Let Go

Yesterday (June 2, 2009), my students and I were discussing how to be happy and successful during our weekly English Coffee Social Hour at National Chung-Hsing University. I like to offer readers and students advice which may be useful to them and to me. In fact, I have been trying to learn this lesson all through my whole life.

What is the advice and the lesson? It is: Knowing when and how to 'let go'. Let me illustrate this with few examples.

When I was learning to play golf in the United States, the coach always reminded me to relax my shoulder, arm, and back muscles. "A soft arm plays a harder ball." , the coach said. Same advices were also given by the tennis coach when students were learning how to serve (the ball). "Relax your shoulder, arm and wrist then you have a high-speed ball" To know how to let go is to play a better sport.

Few days ago, I met Professor Lin Ching-Hseing at the swimming pool. He introduced me to meet with another very good swimmer, Ms. Wang. He explained to me how well Ms. Wang can swim with her body upside-down, no kicking on her feet and propelling only with both hands. Professor Lin said that, "She swim well because she let go her body and completely relax herself."

The philosophy of 'let go' comes from I-Ching 易經 of Lau-Zu 老子. Actually, there are thousands of American fans learning about I-Ching 易經. I remember that there were even televised lectures over Public Broadcasting System (PBS) by renown scholars of I-Cheng 易經. The philosophy of I-Cheng 易經 reminds us everything we hold including wealth, power, and even health is an illusion. We come to this life empty-handed, and we will leave this world empty-handed. Why Americans are interested in I-Ching? The reason is clear. Literally, no one is happy with a society overly-emphasized with the material achievements; the society such as America and others (According to Poet Lee Ming-Yung in the seminar on June 2, 2009, Taiwan also belongs to this category.) Those societies overly-concern with questions regarding on how much a person earn? on what kind of cars he or she is driving, etc.

Did you hear I mention about 'health' in this 'let-go' philosophy? Yes. Although we have to take responsiblity of eating habit and exercise routine, there are something else that is outside of our control. To be happy is to know hoe to let go those we cannot control over. Here I am going to give two examples:

About 5 years ago, my former Kimberly-Clark colleague, Steve, re-count on his near-death experience. He had a heart attack. The incredible thing he has experienced was that although he was unconscious at the time of the heart attack, he knew that his soul was hovering over the operating table and was aware of all the conversations among the doctors operating on his body at the operating table. Later, He came back alive. He said with a sigh, "Life is fragile. Nothing can be considered as an entitlement."

Recently, I had few health problems. My blood liver enzymes were elevated. When I was at the church asking how well I was doing. I shared them with my concerns. I said, it is not at the point of life-and-death.

"This part (life or death) you don't have to worry about it. Only God can take your life away when the time comes." answered my church friend.

"Knowing how to let go" is a simple concept; yet, it is so hard to do that ourselves. I write this note so that we can all learn this philosophy together to be happy.